Anything over 600V of static charge may destroy a part. That's at a level that you still can't even feel it. We don't feel static charge till it reaches something around 3000V (which is when you see and feel a spark). You want to keep ESD well below 300V. You really don't even want your wife/kids to come over and point to your electronics on the bench, just the act of pointing at the thing from a number of inches away can induce static potentials that are over 300V.
For ESD the bad stuff is:
1) conductive materials are bad.
2) insulative materials are bad.
For 1 the discharge rate is so high it can destroy parts, when the discharge occurs.
for 2 there is no discharge so you build up charge, which can eventually destroy a part.
Static dissipative materials are good. These are materials which have quite a bit of resistance, but still conduct somewhat. They are usually over 1M ohm to something like 10Mohm.
The mats slowly discharge static charge to ground at a low rate so there isn't a sudden large discharge (spark).
Best practice is to place the anti-static shielded bag with the electronic parts on the grounded workbench ESD mat first. Then put on the grounded wrist band (minimum, best is to have a anti-static lab coat and ground it don't forget that you should be grounded through a 1Mohm resistance!). Now that you are grounded you can open the bag (not up in the air or over the carpet, which you shouldn't even have in the "electronics lab" area of your house), keeping it in contact with the grounded anti-static surface. You are trying to equalize potentials here.
Paper/fur(fake/real)/Styrofoam/pink poly bags/tape/glass/plastics (plastic cling wraps, etc) should never be used around exposed ICs all of them are ESD generators. Metal hand tools etc aren't an issue as when you handle them they discharge through you through the 1Mohm grounded wrist strap. Just make sure the ESD strap has good contact with your skin and that the ESD mat is clean. A dirty mat is probably not doing a very good job of static dissipation.