do you have a schematic of your circuit? i'm trying to picture how a single mosfet can run a motor? maybe it is acting only as a switch, an On/Off switch so to speak. is the mosfet rated for 60V or more? is the mosfet pulse rated to handle the inrush?
if the cap is dying before the motor even begins to rotate, and it is clearly rated for the voltage, the only thing that comes to mind is charge/discharge rate problem.
anyway, please post a schematic you'll probably get more useful advice as we narrow down to your *real* problem. if you don't have a schematic, draw a block diagram.
Mr.Cool
Added after 2 minutes:
by the way, if it is truely an inductor Bemf (kickback) problem use a mosfet that has a faster body diode quickly free-wheel stored energy. if that is not good enough, place a schottky diode (forward current rating 2x greater than what you think you need) across the mosfet drain/source
hmm... i can not seem to find a datasheet for your chosen mosfet.
how do you ensure that the current in the motor is less than 3Arms? your switch must be PWM applied to the opto?
how do you size the mosfet to allow for current seen by the switch?
keep in mind V = L*di/dt
your mosfet is rated for this di (peak current) as the mosfet's continuous rating must allow for the peak current as per formula above. the actual RMS current delivered to the motor will be MUCh less.
one more observation, though i am less sure on this, is when your inductor free wheels when mosfet is Not Conducting it might pull the voltage below ground reference at node location between D4 and inductor. this would voltage stress your mosfet and cause it to fail immediately.
Actually i don't know what your motor is like or how much current does it need, so here is a circuit i used which was quite easy to implement. Only needed a ULN2003 Darlington Pair which included flyback diodes allowing the current to pass through instead of burning out the transistors.
Here it is, Enjoy.
p.s. It can be extended to be used with any motorin the same manner ... just tell me what you need and if it can deliver the range of power for your operation.