Urhm.. I wrote some progs in vb6 to toggle the data pins high/low.. but this required a special driver for easy access.
The problem is, windows in generial wants to be able to allow multiple programs access the devices of the computer.. So it doens't allow any devices (natively)to have full raw read/write control over the ports..
Let me see
Here are some links (some might be applicable.. some might not:
Oh yeah.. to show you I understand your frustation (if you have been at this for a wile).. Let me tell you all these links were in my "parallel ports suck" folder