The difference between the two circuits is the initial condition. In the first circuit, the 200nF capacitor is initially discharged, as is the output capacitor. This means that when you apply input power, the gate will actually be start off at 0V (FET is fully on) until the 200nF cap starts to charge through the resistor divider. That sort of kills the soft start effect.
Now look at the second circuit. Since input power has been applied before the control signal, the 200nF cap starts off charged to Vin, and when you apply the control signal, the gate voltage will fall from 13V, which is what you want.
The operating principle of the circuit is that the 200nF cap should effectively limit the dv/dt on the output by negative feedback. However, this of course only works if the Vgs of the FET is biased near its threshold, and that won't be the case initially in your first circuit.
It should also be noted that even the second circuit is very flawed. Even with the control switch off, if you apply a fast rising edge on the input voltage, the PFET will still turn on and you'll get a surge of current to the output, since once again the 200nF cap will hold the gate at 0V initially.
Unless you're willing to make real soft start circuitry (current limits, maybe with foldback), you should probably just stick with a large gate-source capacitance. Just play around with the time constants until you get what you want.