OK, so what you are asking for is a latched system, one that has to be started manually but afterwards keeps it's power switch on by itself.
Firstly - you must have another connection to maintain an uninterrupted supply to the ECM or it will disconnect it's own power source when the relay contacts open. That will obviously stop all outputs and at best make it cyclically reset itself.
I would suggest the way to make the relay power up correctly would be to use three diodes, each rated to carry at least the relay coil current + a 50% safety margin. As most relays only consume low power you can probably use 1N4001 or similar which are very inexpensive.
Connect one diode across the relay coil (ideally at the relay itself), with it's cathode toward the switched end. It will not normally conduct but at the moment the relay de-energizes it will trap any nasty voltages that could damage the switch or ECM.
Diode 2 goes in series with the switch, before it joins the junction of 'digital output' and the relay. This is to allow current flow through the switch when it closes so the relay operates but it blocks current from the 'digital output' going back through the switch to the battery.
Diode 3 goes in series with the 'digital output' with it's cathode toward the relay coil. This one is to prevent battery voltage feeding back in to the 'digital output' when the switch is closed.
If wired crrectly, the relay will energize with current through one or both diodes but the two sources cannot feed into each other.
If the 'power supply input' is a sense signal you may have to scale it to a lower voltage with a potential divider made from two resistors. The 'digital output' must also be capable of providing enough current to operate the relay. Without information on the internal circuit of the ECM I can't say if these points are valid.
Brian.