Do you want to build the IR detector your self? I am sure that there are both the "transmitters" and "receivers" out there and you just have to build the interface. How to communicate with it depends on the brand, read its data sheet. In my previous company, an engineer did it in a week, so I thought it was not that complicated.
A simple PIN diode or IR receiver may help. Just ensure you have a low pass filter cascaded, where 38-40kHZ of remote control signals can be filtered out. There are also few other concerns you have to exclude in the design, like sunlight cancelalltion etc.