The "load" capacitors are really the circulating
AC current loop of the xtal "tank", by way of
ground. Stray C which takes energy elsewhere
should be minimized. C which can be "lumped"
with the placed component, is just that.
Package pin capacitance numbers are often
inclusive of protection and active circuitry
attached, often sandbagged rather than
dead-accurate, and XO pins often are special
in these respects - single stage and smaller
than output-buffer inverter, lighter ESD
protection, etc.