andre- Thanks, I will try out that formula, currently I go through the entire above calculation.
dick_freebird- I tried to understand, and some of it makes sense, but I should read it when I am not as sleep deprived (it is 1 AM local time).
godfreyl- I may have read the datasheet wrong, but here's the funny thing- the (wrong) values matched! Ambient is 40 here, and with V(GS) at 9v, I measured 0.9 ohms resistance!
EDIT: I made a huge blunder whilst verifying the datasheet , er, data. As it turns out, the PROBE lead on my multimeter is adding the resistance, it appears to have developed a break. Of all things... I did not check the zero reading before I measured it (it was fine this morning!). So problem solved! Thanks a lot, I learnt something new from you today- reading a normalised graph!
I solved the high side problem by using two 9v batteries to provide the greater-than-source gate voltage- not ideal, but the application is only a demo, intended to run only for twenty minutes, but at up to 100% duty cycle. Therefore a charge-pump did not have the appeal.